Tuesday, July 1, 2008

What If?

As I rush around this morning getting ready for my day, I wonder, if I'm being the best person I can be? Am I taking the time to tell my family and friends I love them? Am I smiling at a stranger as I pass by or am I scowling as I think of what I have to do next?

A story on the news this morning is about a highway
being closed due to a bad car wreck and I found myself wondering, What is my fate for the day? I'm sure the person in the vehicle that flipped didn't plan on that happening today. What if that was me? When I left the house this morning, my husband was still asleep. I tried to dress quietly and not disturb him. But what if, that wreck had been me? Would I have done differently if I knew my future? What if it had been me? What if today is my last?

When it's my time, will I be remembered as a person that cared, that took that moment to smile and show kindness? Frankly I'd rather be remembered as loving, caring, helpful, and friendly rather than always being on time or being efficient. If someone I care about doesn't know I care, I've been a failure. If a stranger that sees me everyday doesn't view me as friendly, happy and approachable,
that doesn't speak well of me as a person.

I'm sure I am having these thoughts because we had the memorial service for John's father over the weekend. When he passed in January the weather was really bad and it was too dangerous to travel to the family cemetery in the mountains of East Tennessee, so we planned it for the last weekend in June. The weekend was bittersweet in that it was wonderful to get together with family and friends again, but it was another final goodbye too.
Even knowing why I'm having these feelings, I still wonder "What If?"

What if this is my last chance to.....?

What about you?

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