At a loss for words

It has been a tough week for our church family, we have experienced three deaths. A mother with grown children. A man in his thirties leaving behind a wife and children. And a young child two and a half years old, that survived Pompe's disease that normally claims it's victims before their first birthday.

Though we are hurting, we know God is in control and He does not make mistakes.

Yes we hurt but we will praise Him in this Storm.



Casting Crowns says it so well in their song "I will praise You in the storm"

A Life Well Lived

This week a wonderful man passed from this life into the next. He left behind a wife and two children. But he also left behind hundreds of friends and more memories than can be counted. There aren't words to express the amazing happenings from his room at hospice this past week, but they will be memories I will always carry with me.

It didn't take long after meeting Jared, for me to know that he loved his family wholeheartedly and that singing was a huge part of his life. His love for God was apparent in all that he did. From our first meeting I liked him and was glad to call him my friend. He and his wife, Amy, are members of our church choir and frequently sang in the ensemble. He was a fireman and had loved firetrucks even as a child. It seems he was born to be a fireman. His children said he was great at being a dad. What a wonderful legacy to leave.

He loved deeply and was deeply loved. His fellow firemen collected money and sent the family on a trip to Hawaii earlier this year. They were able to make memories that will have to last his family a lifetime. He was able to attend the father - daughter dance in February. So many memories to carry with them.

Today was the funeral and it was an amazing service. Because Jared knew his disease was terminal, he had the opportunity to plan his own memorial service. The songs, scripture and who he wanted to speak. But the most amazing thing was he recorded a video message to those in attendance. It was totally Jared. He always liked to joke and laugh. He even found a bit of humor in this final recording. He was able to speak directly to his wife and children, one last time to tell them how much he loves them. He thanked co-workers and friends. But most importantly he was able to express his faith and belief in God. He encouraged us to search our hearts and make sure we each have a personal relationship with Jesus. He assured his family he will see them in heaven, where he has been healed, is without pain and disease free. His final concern was to share Jesus with all those he loves and the importance of a personal relationship with Jesus. (John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.) He spoke of life being a vapor with no promise of tomorrow. (James 4:14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.) He was concerned about others right up to the end.

I admire him, am honored to have known him. Jared I miss you my friend, rest in God and I will see you again one day.

What If?

As I rush around this morning getting ready for my day, I wonder, if I'm being the best person I can be? Am I taking the time to tell my family and friends I love them? Am I smiling at a stranger as I pass by or am I scowling as I think of what I have to do next?

A story on the news this morning is about a highway being closed due to a bad car wreck and I found myself wondering, What is my fate for the day? I'm sure the person in the vehicle that flipped didn't plan on that happening today. What if that was me? When I left the house this morning, my husband was still asleep. I tried to dress quietly and not disturb him. But what if, that wreck had been me? Would I have done differently if I knew my future? What if it had been me? What if today is my last?

When it's my time, will I be remembered as a person that cared, that took that moment to smile and show kindness? Frankly I'd rather be remembered as loving, caring, helpful, and friendly rather than always being on time or being efficient. If someone I care about doesn't know I care, I've been a failure. If a stranger that sees me everyday doesn't view me as friendly, happy and approachable, that doesn't speak well of me as a person.

I'm sure I am having these thoughts because we had the memorial service for John's father over the weekend. When he passed in January the weather was really bad and it was too dangerous to travel to the family cemetery in the mountains of East Tennessee, so we planned it for the last weekend in June. The weekend was bittersweet in that it was wonderful to get together with family and friends again, but it was another final goodbye too. Even knowing why I'm having these feelings, I still wonder "What If?"




What if this is my last chance to.....?

What about you?

Their going to the chapel and their gonna get married...

My brother's oldest daughter is getting married on Saturday. As the wedding is now just days away, I have been reflecting on life and all the changes we've seen in the 23 years since her birth. In 1985 my sister-in-law and I were both pregnant. She was due in March and I was due in April. Anne Marie was born on March 10 and then unexpectedly three days later our son, Aaron, was born a month early on March 13. Two of my cousins were also pregnant that year and their daughters were born that summer. Lots of new babies in the family that year.

Fast forward twenty three years, and we've had numerous life changes, both good and bad, in just the last two years.

My dad died February 24, 2006.
Our son was married March 3, 2007.
My nephew married June 2, 2007.
My cousins daughter was married June 30, 2007.
My nephew's new wife lost her brother in a motorcycle accident in July 2007.
John's dad passed in January of this year.

Thankfully, we are now back to a time of happy changes. Aaron and Lauren are expecting a baby and Anne Marie is getting married Saturday. I remember her so very well as a beautiful, angelic, mischievous towheaded little girl. One of my favorite memories is seeing her look so sweet while the grand kids played and had snacks at my parents house. She and Aaron looked like twins when they were little and have always been very close. On this occasion she leaned over and so sweetly hugged Aaron, but at the same time she reached over his shoulder and stole his Skittles. The sweet moment went quickly to a squabble. But their fusses never lasted very long and soon they were best buds again.

Annie's up coming marriage has allowed me to think of their childhood more than Aaron's wedding. With his marriage I was so busy getting ready, I didn't have much time for remembrance but I now I can take time to think and have enjoyed remembering their childhood and all the adventures they dreamed up on those Friday nights at Grandma and Grandpa's.

Anne Marie, may God bless you and Josh. I pray you will always be happy and just a bit mischievous. I love you dear.